Title>Still Waters Run Deep

Monday, February 27, 2006

I’ve been thinking about children today for some reason. I think it began when I read about Britney Spears carrying her new baby on her lap while she was driving; that woman really is still just a kid herself. I bet tones of women in the past did that and were not scrutinized the way she was for a simple mistake. If the media had just left her alone in the first place, it would not have been an issue. Anyway, it looks like she’s pregnant again too which is hilarious considering she’s supposed to have split from that husband of hers. At least she’ll be able to afford a good nanny (and a good lawyer).

I remember the first time I saw Britney Spears, her look and her music were so fresh and she was an instant star……Not like Paris HILTON I think I’ve seen more Paris porn than any other celebrity porn that’s out there – not that I look for it but it’s definitely out there and when you spend as much time as I do online you do find it from time to time. I’m not offended by porn, it can even be fun! It’s each person’s choice if they want to star in a porn movie or be photographed in sexual poses and I have no problem with that, I don’t have to look at it if I don’t want to.

Bob used to like to photograph me and that was fun but I didn’t like to look at the photo’s afterwards so he just kept them to himself. I know that he used to look at porn as all guys do but again, I never felt jealous because I know that he loved me and I’m also confident enough with my own body that I didn’t feel threatened. He used to say I had the body of a porn star, which I think was a compliment :-).

Anyway, I was thinking about the fact that I’ll never have children and I realize that I’m ok with this, although I haven’t really thought about it for years. I always thought I would have children but since I’ve become estranged from my own family it seems to be less of an issue. Bob never wanted to have children either in case we wanted to relocate; he said it wasn’t fair to keep moving them around, which I totally agree with. It’s funny though, now that I’m in my 40’s it’s becoming more definite that I won’t have children and it’s almost a relief that I won’t have that decision to make soon because I won’t have a choice.

I have my animals…

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