Title>Still Waters Run Deep

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Well it has rained constantly now for the past two weeks and I’m getting pretty tired of it. I am starting to get sogged out! I can’t remember the last time we had a sunny day although I do enjoy running in the rain sometimes, just not all the time. Coco is starting to show signs of a cold from always being wet. I hope he pulls through. I hate having to go to the vet in town.
The house has felt pretty dark and empty for the last little while. I seem to be feeling a little melancholy these days and I wonder if this blog is making me TOO reflective. I’ve purposely stayed away from analyzing my life because it’s just so complicated although on the surface I guess it looks simple to others. I’m generally a happy person and I have wonderful memories, providing I don’t let anger get in the way. I must admit to feeling cheated out of the time that I should have had with Bob, but I guess ultimately it was his decision to leave. Suicide is not the answer trust me. Maybe I am no mixed up about it because the whole thing was kinda unexpected in the first place, I never thought I would fall for a guy like that but I could see beyond what other people saw, to the kind of person that he really was underneath.

Bob made a few mistakes, but he did his time, reluctantly of course (I don’t think anyone really wants to be in jail), but he came out a changed person.

I still blame the authorities (particularly the police) for his death, if they had just left him alone and let us get on with out lives in peace… I can’t help wondering if he would still be alive today and my life might be very different now. But there’s no sense in having regrets, I have my health, a nice home, my animals and I am financially secure. I have it pretty good really.

I was looking at a site today (I think it’s a blog) called the smoking gun which I have put a link to on my blog. It’s such a funny site and always makes me laugh. Some people get themselves into such crazy situations and while it’s not nice to laugh at other people’s misfortune, it can make me feel a little better about my life. The story on the smoking gun which most made me laugh today was the one about two cheerleaders getting it on in a public washroom; the women that were waiting to use the stalls were really angry but you know, if I had been there, I would have gone outside and sold tickets to all the guys to come in and watch. May as well make some money from it :-)


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