Title>Still Waters Run Deep: April 2006

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

So I decided to go kayaking today! Wow I forgot how peaceful it can be out there! Especially in the early morning. It’s so peaceful before the wind takes over and makes waves.

I just can’t believe how quickly this year is going and I’m still only mildly closer to fulfilling any of my goals, although I haven’t had a drink for a few months now. I’ll probably have a bottle of wine on my birthday but that’s not for a few months so I have time to prepare for the hellish hangover which will follow.

I’ve been chatting to a few people via adult friend finder and on another couple of chat rooms on the internet and I think I’m starting to make some friends although you never really know who these people are and there’s no real trust or truth there. I won’t tell people about my last relationship because I know that people will think I’m immoral or even crazy so I won’t bother mentioning it unless I think I’m getting into a serious situation with a man and then I’ll have to tell him. I don’t want to be with anyone who is that judgmental anyways!

I’ve had some really nice emails from people who have read my blog. (Special hi to Leah!) I think I’ve made a couple of friends this way! Although, most of them are women so far, it’s nice to know that there are other women out there like me who have dated a convicted man and have gone on to have really fulfilling relationships. It helps to reaffirm the fact that I was not wrong to love Bob or to commit to him in the way that I did. Other women have also given everything up for the man they love and have never regretted it either, I just wish he was still with me, it still hurts so much every day and I know that I’ll never get over losing him. Sometimes I feel so cheated that he left me, especially when I think about how we planned to live our lives out together. Why did he think I didn’t want it too? I did nothing to deserve being deserted!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Well it’s my Mom’s birthday today and I’ve spent the whole day trying to decide whether I should call or not, in the end I decided not to. It’s been too long and I really think that if she wanted to be in touch with me, she would have called by now. It’s a shame because I miss my family but then I also cannot forgive them for the way they treated me and Bob when they found out that he had been in prison. I wish they weren’t so judgmental and had given me a chance to explain what he had done, and then they would see he never set out to hurt anyone and would never have done so intentionally.

My mother was always a Christian woman as well which makes it even more hypocritical because she’s supposed to be all about forgiveness and repenting for sins. I’ve never been heavy into the traditional forms of religion and maybe that’s why I can be a bit less judgmental about the flaws of human nature and the fact that people just make mistakes sometimes. I don’t even know where my sister lives now, after I moved away with Bob, we lost touch and I heard that she moved too so now I have no idea where she is and she has no idea where I am. Oh well, her loss. I do miss that I don’t get to play aunty though.

I’m also feeling a little down today because I saw the cute guy again yesterday evening when I was out for run. He was running towards me and I decided there and then that I would say hi and give him a smile; so when he got closer I looked him in the eye and gave him a warm smile and said “hi”. He slowed right down and said hi too, and I really felt like he was happy to see me. As he got level with me I looked down and saw that he was wearing a wedding ring and I just felt crushed. I guess I’d hoped in my mind that he might be interested in me and that things might progress but who am I kidding? He probably thought that he might be able to get away with having a quick fling with me because he was clearly checking me out and flirting, but I don’t want to get involved with someone who’s married so I’ll steer clear of him in future.
Oh well, back to adult friend finder! I think I’ll treat myself to a big bar of chocolate today as it’s Easter. Happy Bunny day!

Friday, April 07, 2006

I was reading another news story online this am about that same prison escapee (Richard McNair) in the states this morning, and I came across a really funny video where a cop in Ball stopped this guy. It’s just after he escaped. This cop is literally on watch for Richard McNair who has gotten free. The cop stops this jogger, who was jogging down the tracks in 113 degree heat! The cop asks him for his name, and of course does not identify himself as Richard McNair, but as some other name, two different names actually. So this cop asks him a bunch of questions and then lets him go. He actually shakes his hand and tells him to be safe! Too funny. This is the link. http://www.thetowntalk.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060407/NEWS01/604070318/1002

That cop hopefully got fired for being an idiot! Richard McNair is a bit of a hottie! Wonder what his story is? I will have to google him a bit more later. I’m still a little slow at the search engine stuff. Anyway, that cop really should be ashamed of himself. I mean kudos to Richard McNair for being able to think on his feet like that and talk his way out of the situation. He looked so calm and confident! That must have been stressful for him. So anyways, off he goes, back on the run because the cop let him go and now no-one knows where he is. I think I might keep an eye on this story to see how it unfolds……I wonder how long this guy can stay out of prison, he seems pretty smart and I bet he can stay one step ahead of the cops, especially if they’re too busy dealing with the kind of crap that I keep seeing on the police logs site. Too funny. Kind of like that guy who lived in the bush in Kelowna for how long??? I must admit I was secretly cheering him on too. I really admire people who aren’t conformists some times!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I have to confess that I’m kinda hooked on the Portsmouth Herald police site now. Did you read it yesterday Leah? Too funny. I’ve been checked them from time to time over the past few days and I’m just amazed at the types of things that people will report to the cops. I would never go to the cops to report anything that I can deal with myself! As far as I’m concerned they are mostly untrustworthy, self important, power thirsty morons who victimize people to justify their existence. Most of them have egos the size of Texas to boot! Bob was always very cooperative with them and yet they treated him with no respect at all. It’s the same with the courts and the prisons, no-one seems to have grasped the fact that if you lock a bunch of guys up together in tiny cages and treat them like animals; they just might behave like animals. It’s like mob behavior. Any one of those men one on one would likely be a perfect gentleman!

Bob really disliked prison but he saw it as an occupational hazard. He did make some great lifelong friends there, some of which I could turn to at any time. His friends were very loyal to him, way more loyal than most people I have ever met. They helped him out if he needed it, no matter what. I know that there’s a saying of “honor among thieves” but at least it shows a human side to people who would otherwise be just classed as criminals. Because I’ve seen the other side of life with someone who has done prison time I guess I’m a little more sympathetic to the people who end up in prison, many of them are just victims of circumstance or a bad upbringing and I think society should be a little more willing to help these people instead of locking them up and pretending they don’t exist or matter. There have so many funding cuts for essential services surrounding mental health issues, and the government makes so many of their programs inaccessible to those who can’t afford them. Like I said before I hate people who judge others by one or two mistakes. Mistakes are usually made because someone forces an action to be made that otherwise, without that force, most likely would never have been made…

I was reading a news article today about a guy in the states who has escaped from prison 3 times, including a top security prison. At first I thought “this guy is a genius” then I realized that if he really was a genius, he would be using his rare talent to make money as a celebrity doing magician-like escape stunts like David Blaine rather than gaining notoriety escaping from prison all the time. I’m curious though, how dumb are these guards that he can escape three times!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I always hated April Fools Day, even as a kid. I found another really funny site today, although it’s not meant to be funny I don’t think. Thanks for the hot tip Leah! For those others who are interested, it’s the Portsmouth Herald news site, I think it’s from England? Anyway it has a daily log of the things that people call the cops about, it’s at http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/plarchive.htm.

Reading through some of the calls is hilarious and while I have little respect for the local police, I can see that police must spend most of their time dealing with crap! Lol. My favorite one from yesterday was “A caller reported a group of Cross Roads House residents refusing to leave and that one of them broke a door, while another gave the caller the finger.” I wonder if any of the ones from today’s page will be April Fools jokes, not that I’ll be able to tell.

I haven’t seen that cute running guy again. Guess I successfully avoided that particular trail. I might go along there again soon, he’s probably forgotten about me by now. Oh, and I must remember to put the clocks forward tomorrow too, that’s something else I usually forget.