Title>Still Waters Run Deep

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

So I decided to go kayaking today! Wow I forgot how peaceful it can be out there! Especially in the early morning. It’s so peaceful before the wind takes over and makes waves.

I just can’t believe how quickly this year is going and I’m still only mildly closer to fulfilling any of my goals, although I haven’t had a drink for a few months now. I’ll probably have a bottle of wine on my birthday but that’s not for a few months so I have time to prepare for the hellish hangover which will follow.

I’ve been chatting to a few people via adult friend finder and on another couple of chat rooms on the internet and I think I’m starting to make some friends although you never really know who these people are and there’s no real trust or truth there. I won’t tell people about my last relationship because I know that people will think I’m immoral or even crazy so I won’t bother mentioning it unless I think I’m getting into a serious situation with a man and then I’ll have to tell him. I don’t want to be with anyone who is that judgmental anyways!

I’ve had some really nice emails from people who have read my blog. (Special hi to Leah!) I think I’ve made a couple of friends this way! Although, most of them are women so far, it’s nice to know that there are other women out there like me who have dated a convicted man and have gone on to have really fulfilling relationships. It helps to reaffirm the fact that I was not wrong to love Bob or to commit to him in the way that I did. Other women have also given everything up for the man they love and have never regretted it either, I just wish he was still with me, it still hurts so much every day and I know that I’ll never get over losing him. Sometimes I feel so cheated that he left me, especially when I think about how we planned to live our lives out together. Why did he think I didn’t want it too? I did nothing to deserve being deserted!


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